There has been a big delay between posts. This has been primarily about trying to find an image or images for this post – unsuccessfully so far.
The trigger to the post came from a piece on Surrendered Wives. The BBC website had the attached piece – strangely as part of their 100 Women series.
There are some articles around the place trying to imagine a Surrendered Husband, some humorous, but they go on at length and none are by men. No one lays out operational criteria for an SH a la DSM-5. Here then are some.
- Accept that my insights are likely to stem from something my partner mentioned a while before that I paid no heed to
- Accept that women are on average brighter than men and I should be tuning them in and men out more often
- Accept my partner has to manage in a world I would never survive in – the world of other women
- Accept that the only area men have a lead on women is in terms of strength but intimidation based on strength is unworthy
- Accept that women have more guts than men so if she’s standing up to me despite my strength advantage it’s probably something important
- Accept my position and status comes from society not my personal merits and that this leads to an over confidence in my abilities which risks being an Achilles Heel.
- Learn to focus on others
These criteria are up for grabs. They are drawn from the original surrendered wife criteria – with modifications. Part of the image problem was finding something that was humorous and at the same time conveyed a sense that it’s not surrender so much as a dawning insight that at least half and maybe more than half of the wisdom in the relationship lies in the other person.
But SHs were just a trial run for SDs.
- Accept that when it comes to the side effects of treatment the patient (or the in-laws) are likely to know best.
- Accept that my job would be more interesting if I learned to co-ordinate the research efforts of my patients rather than continued to dictate to them.
- Accept that patients continue to come to me not because I am good at my job but because society has made it impossible to get medicines except through people like me.
- Accept that my actions are dictated by ghostwritten articles and inaccessible data mediated through guidelines that I haven’t the guts to stand up to.
- Recognize that far from being founts of wisdom and compassion my colleagues and I can get incredibly nasty if questioned. I am an obstacle to work around more often than a source of support.
- Medically Unexplained Symptoms point to limitations in current medical knowledge or perhaps my medical knowledge. The term is not a euphemism for hysteria.
These criteria are up for grabs. The best offers will be included in follow-up Surrender 2 post – along with an image if anyone can find one that works – one that is humorous and somehow conveys that at least half of the wisdom lies on the other side of the relationship.